Loneliness

I am experiencing a difficult season of feeling alone. I feel like a darkness has invaded my heart of which makes me feel quite depressed. I looked up loneliness in the wikipedia dictionary and here is the definition:Loneliness is a feeling in which people experience a strong sense of emptiness and solitude. Loneliness is often compared to feeling empty, unwanted, and unimportant.
After reading this definition I see why I feel so lonely. I don't feel very supported in my life as far as my dreams and aspirations. Every time I talk to my family I feel discouraged. I find myself jealous of families that are close and care about each other. How come I don't have that? Oh it goes on and on. All of this just makes me feel so alone and SAD! If you know me you know I am not a SAD person.

I am a real person with real struggles. This all the more brings me back to the WORD. What can I dig up in there and be encouraged with?

I look at the Bible and am reminded of Biblical characters that also struggled with loneliness and not feeling supported. It was a dark, hard time. I see the key principle being that Jesus meets us in the midst of our problems. We have his Word on it!

Perseverance and Success through Life's Trials

Life is an ongoing journey. What makes the journey exciting is all of the things that come across your path. However, there are times when some not so nice things decide to get in your way. Some of those things are as petrifying as a poisonous snake slithering by and rearing it’s head as you take a step closer. While they aren’t exactly fun to deal with, one only needs to learn how to handle snake crossings to overcome them.

The book of James is filled with so much support and guidance for handling all types of snakes that may come across your path. However the best part is how he discusses the attitude you should have during those times. James 1:12 says “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” God has also promised that he will never leave or forsake us. Shouldn’t that remove all our fear? Shouldn’t this put us in a place to give God complete control of our lives? Shouldn’t this offer us uncodnitional faith? The answer to these questions may be “Yes” in the positional sense, but putting them into practice in our everyday lives is the challenge.

I have found myself facing a snake on my path. I am not afraid because of my faith. I haven't discussed work issues here before. I was reluctant to do so at first, because I am not one for a “pity party.” Yet, when I finally answered God’s nudging to be more transparent to you all, what I found was not pity, but prayers, kindness, and love!

I have not written much about my work recently. I deal with it day by day. Some days are better than others. But God keeps nudging me to continue to move forward on my path. He offers me the guidance and tools to overcome each and every snake. So, this will be no different. This summer has been particularly trying. I was expecting to move to Idaho and everything to work out perfectly, like everything will perfectly fall into place. Little did I know everything wasn't going to be as perfect as I expected it to be. Failure has come about. Finances have been tapped dry. Daily I trust God to meet my financial needs. I am itching to get a pedicure or get hi-lights. But hey it is a season. I am so thankful and full of His blessings that it isn’t anything to cause me fear. However, I have had to TRUST God each day to meet my needs in every way. What a GREAT place to be. Being an entrepreneur there will failures, there will be trials, but in the end everything will come together. I know that.

Ok, in all seriousness, I am still processing how this will affect my life. I was a bit overwhelmed with moving to Idaho in March and had a few months of depression. I had to pull myself out of the funk I could feel myself falling into, so I prayed. God lead me to read more of your Word, lead me to PRAY more. While I am not sure I am at the point of coutning it all joy, I am certain that I am blessed. God has a purpose for this in my life. I will stand this test and watch God work me through this for His purpose. I only need be open and willing to serve. Serving is a selfless act.

So, what does this all say to you for your life? Regardless of the poisonous snakes that try to slither across your path to scare you off your journey, know that God has not only promised to be with you, but to offer you the ultimate reward for your faithfulness through the trials of life. All you need do is bring each snake to God and allow Him to give you the rules and tools for handling them. Knowing that He knows every aspect of every type of poisonous snake builds your faith. As you overcome each snake your testimony to others will bring all the more glory to God. Praise Him for those snakes! Praise Him for being there to help you overcome them. Pray for His guidance, strength, and wisdom to be upon you as you persevere. The crown of life awaits you!

These are my thoughts.

NEVER stop DREAMING!!!!

I am sitting here lounged out in a cocoa leather chair, my feet are nestled on the matching ottoman. I am listening to "The Crossing" on itunes which in fact is my new fav. station on here. Oh I failed to mention I am eating a delicious yogurt with fresh fruit. I have been thinking a lot lately about DREAMS. Not the dreams you have when you are sleeping but LIFE DREAMS. Do you have underlying dreams that you have had since you were a little child? I know I have them but they aren't underlying-they are exposed. I know there is a HUGE purpose to life. I know we are not here for just being here on earth. I have a HUGE desire to leave a legacy that lasts until many generations to come. I not only want to be a world changer, I want to be a shaker and a mover. I want to FIGHT world hunger. I want to build homes for orphans. I want to help people discover what they are good at RUN with VICTORY of fulfilling their purpose in life.

There is nothing more satisfying than checking off a DREAM from my list. I have high hopes and BELIEVE there are ever bigger things in store in the days to come. As I sit here I encourage you to NEVER stop dreaming. It doesn't matter how old you are, how crazy the dream seems...where there is a will, there is a way. You can do ALL things through Christ who is your strength. You may not always have someone who believes in your idea or dream, don't let that stop you. Press on, keep on keeping on until you get there.

Always DREAM BIG...you CAN DO IT!!! :) xoxoxoxoxo I BELIEVE in you!!!!!!

Tahoe

Well here I am soon packing my bags for Tahoe. This experience will be exhilarating as I have not been to many places through out the Western United States. This is whole new ground for me. It really makes me all the more realize how BIG the whole is and small I am. There are so many places I would like to go to. I have had the privilege to travel over seas. Again I must say the world is a BIG place waiting for me to discover it more.

Ahhhhhh the packing tonight....interim I am getting my hair colored by one of the most gifted hair stylists I know. I am going to the bleached look with a little definition. It will look HOT! I also painted my nails with a fresh coat of OPI nail polish. Yep I am ready to head to California.

I am listening to the HILLSONG "Healer"-it really reminds me that nothing is impossible with Christ. :) I feel like there is a major purpose to my life here on this earth. Most people these days live to be in their 60's to 70's...sometimes older. Well if that be the case I am half way through life and so many more things to accomplish in the days to come.

It is a breath of fresh air to know I have purpose and there is meaning to my life. Thank God!

Oh, I wanted to share something, just an FYI for the girls out there. I really LOVE this new makeup line. It is affordable, fabulous, comparable to M.A.C. makeup and they have the best brushes. Here is their website: http://www.bhcosmetics.com/

Have a BLESSED day all and I look forward to my next blog.

SINGING in the RAIN!

The first day of Summer has not begun. Well that is okay I have lots of SUNSHINE in my heart. I peer out the window as the sun shines brightly and the rain comes pouring down. I am reminded of the famous song "Singing in the Rain" dodeododeododedo....I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain, what a glorious deal and I am happy again. I am laughing at clouds, so dark up above, the sun is in my heart...I am ready for love...let the stormy clouds chase...come on with the rain, I have a smile on my face. I love it.

I sit here missing my sweetheart terribly. I miss his hugs, his kisses, the way he looks at me, the little things he does, and oh so much more. I am gazing out the window that I have lightly opened. The breeze of fresh rain air so crisply blowing in. What a breath it is.

I am so blessed. I love my baby so much and it is the greatest gift God could have given me next to sending CHRIST. I wish you were here with me today baby to enjoy this precious moment of God's Glory. I love you hunny.

Get Motivated

How many of us procrastinate? How many us say we are going to do something but never do it? There are many individuals in this world and many people I know that say they have BIG DREAMS. When I hear the dreams that people have it makes me excited to know that they have a DREAM bigger beyond themselves. What I wonder is why individuals don't do anything to achieve their dreams. We each have special dreams planted in our hearts. What are we actively doing to pursue our dreams? Do you have an example?

I have been the culprit of saying I want to do this and want to be in this place someday. But you know what? I wasn't doing anything to get to that place. I was still on the 18th floor of the building not climbing higher. I was stagnant. I was not happy. I didn't have the $ I wanted. I didn't have friends that wanted more out of life. The problem was I was around people that were comfortable with their current situation. I had to uncomfortably pull myself away from those individuals in my life not because I didn't like them. I had to pull away because they were holding me back. I began to get involved in new things. I created the type of environment I wanted to be in and brought new people into it. I soon found myself being more successful, feeling closer to God, making new friends that wanted more, and being a more confident person over all.

Point being here...GET MOTIVATED. If you want more out of life in any area. Whether it be personal, fitness, spiritual, or financial...you are the change waiting to happen. It is you who can change the situation. Rather than sitting around waiting for it to happen-it never will. You have to take RISK. You have to change your environment and get uncomfortable. In the long run it will be so worth it. Personally, I have found myself growing as an individual learning humility and it is okay to ask for help along the way. We are all in this journey of life together. It is your choice whether you want to be in it together or not.

Get Motivated to be the change you need for yourself, your loved ones, your friends. Lead by example.

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TRUST ME

Here I am again trusting and trusting and waiting and waiting. It seems like I make it so hard on myself to TRUST that God has it all under control. Then again it would be easier had I clung to a scripture verse and prayed about it everyday. I am at the point of my life again being broken. I moved out of state about 3 months ago to follow what I felt like was God's perfect plan. All to unfold to everything not going what I expected it to be. I am trying to run a non-profit. I haven't made $$$$ since the end of Feb. I want to go shopping so bad and buy new clothes, get a pedicure, or even go on an exotic trip.

In the midst of waiting on God to prosper the non-profit and waiting on Him to continue to sustain me---it comes down to PURE TRUST in Him. COMPLETE UTTERMOST reliance on Him and His sufficiency. Oh how often in the past did I never trust in Him. How often did I just move life along in my own way and on my terms? Pretty much always. God's GRACE has been so precious and so refreshing over the past three months. God has continually reminded me to just let go and TRUST Him. Yes, I do indeed need to do my part. But the BEAUTY of it all is God is here. He is for me, on my side, and so excited that I am learning to let Him have the full reign.

No matter where you are in life, learning to trust in Christ is hard. This is a patience thing, it is a GRACE thing, it is a LIFE thing. It is a GOOD thing and I am excited to be growing, I am excited to be in a deeper walk with my precious God.

PRIDE

Pride comes before a fall-oh so true is that. I am finding myself struggling with some major pride and it is affecting my attitude and others. What an awesome feeling huh? No, not really. My attitude has sucked. I have been rude and have just not wanted to be nice. I have wanted everything to go my way. How selfish...

I am reminded of Jonah in the Bible whom God told to go to Nineveh and he rebelled and went his own path. Well long story short he was too afraid to go where God wanted him to go and ended up in the belly of a whale. Hmmm...he probably should have obeyed God and not let his own ideas keep him from being in God's will.

I want to be used by God everyday and am allowing myself to be so afraid to go there. I have lacked the confidence. I have lacked the motivation and of course have let the pride get in the way too. Joyce Meyers often reminds me in her teaching to "KEEP ON KEEPING ON." Yeah easier said that done right? Well I just need to stand on God and his Word to carry me through. I need to learn to be a humble woman. How can I expect God to use me to do great things if I have pride in my life? I ask God to keep me a humble woman. My plea to God is a cry for help. I am not perfect and am willing to change my ways with the major help of God's GRACE.

Good-bye PRIDE. Psalm 84 "No good thing will God withhold from those who walk with integrity" AMEN. God I need your help. I cannot do this or run this race alone. Help me to be humble. Help me to press on. Help me to choose to have a good attitude and help me to not be selfish.

Whatever your circumstance is don't let pride keep you away from being in God's will like I have. Press on and ask God for His GRACE.

Root Canal Complete

Here I am having one root canal done and hopefully the last ever. I have always heard horror stories of individuals having gone through a root canal procedure. Well mine was blessed with PEACE and NO pain. I have no doubt many were praying as well as me continually remembering Jesus bore PAIN at the cross for me in that moment.

There I was finding myself sitting in a dental chair lying on my back. Rest assured the hygienist was very polite. The endodontist appeared and suddenly my mouth was rubbed with a gel that began to quickly numb my mouth. I kept thinking Jesus bore this at the cross, Jesus bore this at the cross-no pain, Jesus bore this at the cross. Technology sure has changed because I watched Monsters Inc. the entire procedure. I didn't see or feel anything. Which I can attest to was my trust in God and his complete GRACE.

Again I have to say I cannot run to God only when my problems arise-because I do that often. Why is it I only seem to run to him when a problem arises? I want to RUN to God all the time He is waiting. He longs to be with me. He longs to spend time with me, to talk with me, and to LOVE on me more. Oh how rich this experience has been. I have felt more of God's presence, peace, and LOVE the past two weeks than before. Thank you God and thank you for Glorifying yourself in the midst of my pain.

GRACE

I am going to acknowledge God's work on me. My life is not in vain, my service is not in vain. The Lord Jesus has done a work for me, on me, and through his GRACE is doing a work through me. God I thank you that you do not give up doing a good work in me. I thank you for using me to do good works through me for your Glory. Whether it is picking up rocks, making phone calls...all to transform this city. I am willing to serve. Thank you for the GRACE to follow in your example.

So often I had wondered why nothing was moving forward as quickly as I would like it to. Pain comes with progression I am quickly learning. I will not cease and will continue to strive toward the mark which I am called. I love having the gift of leadership which seemingly brings me back to learning to be more and more humble. ie. putting myself also in the shoes of others. In order to be a great leader you have to plan which is more than seeing or having a vision. It is teaching others and allowing individuals to be in charge in the areas in which they are gifted. I am not gifted in all arenas which thank God I don't know it all. I need someone to be my accountant, I need someone to organize for me, I need someone to help me train at the gym, I need, I need. But with the seemingly things I do know I can teach others in.

One of the things I have learned in becoming and striving to be more humble is admitting when I am wrong. I find myself learning a lot from those who do not follow Christ. Sometimes they are more authentic than Christians.

Here I am in desperate need of God's GRACE. God's GRACE to pour down like a pitcher of water that never stops flowing. Here I am admitting I need help. Here I am knowing I am not perfect. Here I am knowing I am a sinner in need of God's GRACE. I am thankful for the work Christ Jesus did on the cross that there is GRACE that is sufficient for me. It is FREE and unmerited.

Brooke Fraser- "C S Lewis Song"

The Thorn in My Flesh This Week

Throbbing, shooting pain going through my mouth. Come to find out I am in need of a root canal and a crown. Oh and a cavity needs to be filled. Even though one can take really great care of their teeth bi-yearly checkups are a must I have learned. In the midst of not having dental care most of my adult life I have tried my best to care for my teeth on my own. Well it failed and I am in major pain. On purcset for the pain and an antibiotic for the infection.

What I am learning more is God's grace is so wonderful and his LOVE so big. I have been at many points in the past three months of my life of having to rely completely on God and his sufficiency to carry me through. Whether it be for my finances, my health, or direction. My entire life I have run mostly my own path my own way without praying and seeking God for his wisdom and direction.

Recently, I read a story by a friend Maria who had thought about giving up her second car. The very thought of only having one car between a husband and wife seems difficult. She called the 2nd car a "Luxury". I remember the days of not having a car and having to walk and take the bus everywhere I went. I managed just fine. I saved lots of $ in which I did not have to pay a car payment, car insurance, or gas for a vehicle. Yes at times riding the bus was daunting. I had to trudge through rain showers, deep snow blizzards, and the scorch of the sun. I remember one time the buses were on strike and I had to either walk 2 miles to work and back or pay to take a taxi. God always provided for my needs. I had a girlfriend in college who shared her car often with me. I would drop her off at work in the morning and drive to my office with her car...then pick her up later. It always seemed to work well. I think "wow" those who have a car have it made and don't realize it. You have air conditioning, a way to get around on wheels, and oh those extra expenses to keep it running-but what a blessing to have a car.

Back to my tooth. This is the worst pain I have experienced in my life physically and I am thankful for this time. God has revealed much to me. I haven't been able to be a busy bee working, socializing, doing what I want to do. I have been bed-ridden, unable to eat, begging God to provide for me to get my tooth fixed. Amidst the tiredness, nausea, and headache-the reliance on God has been the BEST. God has taught me a lot. God just wants me to come to him all the time, not just when a problem arises. I have found myself over the past few days listening often to sermons on Nehemiah. Nehemiah was a man who did NOT give up. He kept on keeping on in his prayers for his nation until God answered his cries. He was an average working guy-no one special. But oh was he special to God.

God thinks I am special. He has plans beyond my imagination for this life. In the midst of my suffering this past week I am reminded of God's wonderful unfailing love for me. All in all don't rely on God when you have to. Run to him each day, praise Him, love on Him. He does say when you draw close to him he will draw close to you. I feel closer to God today than I have in a long time. Thank you God for this tooth problem and for using it to Glorify you. I trust it will all work out and God will provide a means for this to be well.

What is Your Dream?

I am a Christ follower. God Worshipper. Real Princess. Friend. Dreamer. Inventor. Writer. Artist. Confident. Focused. Beautiful. Loved. Enthusiastic. Trainer. Motivator. Authentic. Woman.

...living the Zoe-life...

It is hard to say I would rather sleep than stay awake. There is so much vision within me. How can one take on the world and the indifferences, pain, and suffering alone?

I love life. I love being around people. I love to ENCOURAGE. I find JOY in those things.

My life is about is loving people. The world has a tendency to appear dense and dark. It is my personal goal to shine a BRIGHT LIGHT on this earth. In the cool of the night as I sit and dream-I hear myself crying for a way to leave a legacy that others will want to leave.

My dream is to impact the world. I want to FIGHT indifference, help people grow and become all they were created to be.

I have been kissed with the GREATEST LOVE one can ever receive. I was created to be a unique individual and give of my gifts. I am so excited to be journeying this LIFE.

The attitude of expectancy is the breeding ground of miracles. So here I am-EXPECTANT for GOOD things. EXPECTANT of MORE. EXPECTANT of seeing other people GROW and impact others.